If you could tell the church (whether here in America or abroad), what would it be? This is a safe space to air out those frustrations and desires we are all feeling and will give me a bit more insight into what this community is wrestling with for future posts.
The first thing I’d like to say to the church is I’m sorry. I have come to the conclusion that I can't be too harsh towards the church. After all, I contributed to what I now can't seem to stomach. I enjoyed the performance machine of the church, leading worship and organizing services. I cheered and danced in the crowd as my mega-church in Alaska gave away a car to a poor family like we were on the Price is Right. I bought the CDs, and t-shirts, and quoted Christian celebrities. I have been guilty of seeing volunteers as a means to an end for set-up and tear-down. I have loved strategy more than serving, image over character, and being on the inside circles instead of on the margins.
But I also can't be too harsh towards myself. I wouldn't consider my past self (10 - 20 years ago) as being completely immature. I was simply attempting to be faithful, even imperfectly. Perhaps I was naive but aren’t we all in our early 20s!? Most likely, however, I just changed and the hard thing is, the church hasn't changed with me (at least the churches I use to feel at home in).
Wow! What a loaded question. I LOVE Janell's answer. However, I'm in the middle of church shopping and feeling a wee bit negative as I search for a spot to land. At the moment, my honest answer is: stop trying so hard. Recently, my husband leaned over to me at the beginning of a church service and said, "if you don't show drone footage of your city before your service, did Jesus really show up?" It's funny, but it hits at the heart of something interesting (I think). This particular church had all of their lovely stained glassed windows all covered with black drapes and stage lights. How sad. I just wanted to see the natural light come through. But more than just worship "flavors" styles and stained glass, I just want a place I can ask questions, and not have to be dependent on my emotive state. I have a brain, and I REALLY want to use it in church.
Oh the covered stained glass windows just kills me, Emily! But honestly, the message of "stop trying so hard" is good and yet, like I said above, at one point I wanted the church to try hard. I remember explicitly saying the church should be displaying excellence on stage for their Sunday gatherings. I was a harsh critic of music and set-up, and being "good communicators" aka website, email, and social media. Perhaps it truly was my own immaturity that was only able to focus and measure all things according to the outside appearance. Perhaps 15 years ago, I would have been the one covering the stained glass windows! *gasp*
Ohh! Ah, ok I like the self awareness here. I think I should reword this to say, "Stop trying so hard to impress me." Everything you listed above I'm so appreciative of in the body. Since I don't have the gift of administration, I so appreciate good communication, updates on websites and all the happenings. I'm not good at it. We need people like you in the church who are. So don't be hard on yourself there. I don't think good communication falls under trying to "impress anyone" as much as it does, "I love these people and I want them to have the right information." That's to be celebrated. So perhaps there is a distinction to be made between what's quality, and what's showmanship.
Also, out of curiosity, how did you hear about that particular church? From my limited experience, the churches that have less of a social media/ website platform and are more word-of-mouth tend to be less about the show and not try so hard.
Ahh, good question. Yes, every church I've tried so far has been found on Google search or social media. It's funny you bring that up bc I was at a dog park yesterday where an older gentlemen told me where he attends church. You never know, is this one a God thing?
That she is loved. I'd imagine that the issues that are usually so divisive would fade when we have a secure attachment to the God of the universe. Not only that, but that that person who we would normally not interact with, is indeed sitting next me in a pew, and fully loved. Where else can and should this be fully known except for Christ's bride? This allows space for grace. Stories to be told, a confessional community, and hope that restores. I'd remind her of who is she is, because she forgets.
Love this Janell. I do feel like the church forgets who she is because we have forgotten what is means to "love as I have loved you" because sacrifice isn't sexy. Instead, we have our heads buried in the sands of branding and campaigns and series and whatever else we conjure up to dress up the bride of Christ. It almost feels like that moment in the movie, True Lies where Jamie Lee Curtis rips up the black she is wearing to make it look sexier. The church feels like it's willing to rip off parts of itself to be more presentable and yet, we follow a God who made himself unpresentable - cursed on a tree.
Whoa girl! Powerful quote here: "The church feels like it's willing to rip off parts of itself to be more presentable and yet, we follow a God who made himself unpresentable - cursed on a tree."
It does sound so basic and yet, it's so very difficult to sit with people who are suffering. We'd rather just do potlucks and call it a day. This is where I feel trauma informed-teaching on empathy, compassion, and connection in the church could go a long way.
Pursue unity! Unity with the trinity and with one another. I am discouraged by congregations that are quick to divide instead of quick to unify in conflict and church discipline.
The first thing I’d like to say to the church is I’m sorry. I have come to the conclusion that I can't be too harsh towards the church. After all, I contributed to what I now can't seem to stomach. I enjoyed the performance machine of the church, leading worship and organizing services. I cheered and danced in the crowd as my mega-church in Alaska gave away a car to a poor family like we were on the Price is Right. I bought the CDs, and t-shirts, and quoted Christian celebrities. I have been guilty of seeing volunteers as a means to an end for set-up and tear-down. I have loved strategy more than serving, image over character, and being on the inside circles instead of on the margins.
But I also can't be too harsh towards myself. I wouldn't consider my past self (10 - 20 years ago) as being completely immature. I was simply attempting to be faithful, even imperfectly. Perhaps I was naive but aren’t we all in our early 20s!? Most likely, however, I just changed and the hard thing is, the church hasn't changed with me (at least the churches I use to feel at home in).
Wow! What a loaded question. I LOVE Janell's answer. However, I'm in the middle of church shopping and feeling a wee bit negative as I search for a spot to land. At the moment, my honest answer is: stop trying so hard. Recently, my husband leaned over to me at the beginning of a church service and said, "if you don't show drone footage of your city before your service, did Jesus really show up?" It's funny, but it hits at the heart of something interesting (I think). This particular church had all of their lovely stained glassed windows all covered with black drapes and stage lights. How sad. I just wanted to see the natural light come through. But more than just worship "flavors" styles and stained glass, I just want a place I can ask questions, and not have to be dependent on my emotive state. I have a brain, and I REALLY want to use it in church.
Oh the covered stained glass windows just kills me, Emily! But honestly, the message of "stop trying so hard" is good and yet, like I said above, at one point I wanted the church to try hard. I remember explicitly saying the church should be displaying excellence on stage for their Sunday gatherings. I was a harsh critic of music and set-up, and being "good communicators" aka website, email, and social media. Perhaps it truly was my own immaturity that was only able to focus and measure all things according to the outside appearance. Perhaps 15 years ago, I would have been the one covering the stained glass windows! *gasp*
Ohh! Ah, ok I like the self awareness here. I think I should reword this to say, "Stop trying so hard to impress me." Everything you listed above I'm so appreciative of in the body. Since I don't have the gift of administration, I so appreciate good communication, updates on websites and all the happenings. I'm not good at it. We need people like you in the church who are. So don't be hard on yourself there. I don't think good communication falls under trying to "impress anyone" as much as it does, "I love these people and I want them to have the right information." That's to be celebrated. So perhaps there is a distinction to be made between what's quality, and what's showmanship.
So perhaps there's an important distinction to be made here between what is quality, and what is showmanship. !!?? Thoughts.....
Also, out of curiosity, how did you hear about that particular church? From my limited experience, the churches that have less of a social media/ website platform and are more word-of-mouth tend to be less about the show and not try so hard.
Ahh, good question. Yes, every church I've tried so far has been found on Google search or social media. It's funny you bring that up bc I was at a dog park yesterday where an older gentlemen told me where he attends church. You never know, is this one a God thing?
Good question. :) let the Spirit guide you. And usually, it comes as an offer/gift right? Instead of us seeking it out
100%!
That she is loved. I'd imagine that the issues that are usually so divisive would fade when we have a secure attachment to the God of the universe. Not only that, but that that person who we would normally not interact with, is indeed sitting next me in a pew, and fully loved. Where else can and should this be fully known except for Christ's bride? This allows space for grace. Stories to be told, a confessional community, and hope that restores. I'd remind her of who is she is, because she forgets.
Love this Janell. I do feel like the church forgets who she is because we have forgotten what is means to "love as I have loved you" because sacrifice isn't sexy. Instead, we have our heads buried in the sands of branding and campaigns and series and whatever else we conjure up to dress up the bride of Christ. It almost feels like that moment in the movie, True Lies where Jamie Lee Curtis rips up the black she is wearing to make it look sexier. The church feels like it's willing to rip off parts of itself to be more presentable and yet, we follow a God who made himself unpresentable - cursed on a tree.
Whoa girl! Powerful quote here: "The church feels like it's willing to rip off parts of itself to be more presentable and yet, we follow a God who made himself unpresentable - cursed on a tree."
Love that analogy. So true.
Be a safe place for people who are suffering to be honest and cared for. Sounds so basic but its not
It does sound so basic and yet, it's so very difficult to sit with people who are suffering. We'd rather just do potlucks and call it a day. This is where I feel trauma informed-teaching on empathy, compassion, and connection in the church could go a long way.
Pursue unity! Unity with the trinity and with one another. I am discouraged by congregations that are quick to divide instead of quick to unify in conflict and church discipline.